


The tiny model

by AlexClaain, ApeironStella



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alcohol, Candy, Child, Childhood, Dreams, Model, Other, Slice of Life, Summer, Summer Holidays, a young boy going shopping on a hot summerday, store, translation from my german story so pls be nice thank u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14679420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexClaain/pseuds/AlexClaain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApeironStella/pseuds/ApeironStella
Summary: A short slice of Julian's life in his childhood on a hot summerday. While browsing through a store nearby, thoughts over his family, school and dreams keep him distracted. [This story was translated from German -> English!]





	The tiny model

When Julian left the house today, he was already able to taste the chocolate on his tongue. A small smile formed on his lips as he glanced at the change in his hand, before putting it back into his pocket. For weeks he had hidden his father's beer bottles in his room to hand them over at the next opportunity in the store on the other end of the street. The money, he had gotten in exchange for the bottles, had saved itself up to a decent amount by now. Today, when his father, like always, had once again fallen asleep on the couch, he finally took the chance to spend his hard-earned money. On his way to the supermarket, his thoughts were already wandering through the narrow aisles, pondering about all the sweets he could buy. The heart in this little boy's chest could not have beaten faster; the anticipation crept through his entire body and kept Julian completely under control. "I'll buy the whole store empty!", he laughed as started to run down the street.

The warmth of the sun was burning his back on this particularly hot summer day. A few weeks ago, the summer holiday had started and Julian had successfully completed the 4th grade. As the doors of the store slowly slid open and the cold breeze of the air conditioner welcomed him, he stopped to look at the school bags, that were set up right next to the entrance. He wondered if he would get one for the 5th grade as well; after all, he was about to attend a new school in a few weeks and would therefore technically start over again. However, he was also aware that his parents did not have much money and were usually more self-absorbed, rather than worrying about their son's second enrollment. "The one with the flowers is the most beautiful", he muttered softly to himself, slowly taking his eyes off to visit the aisle with the sweets. The next time he would just buy one himself - they had enough beer bottles at home to do so, after all.

As he arrived at his destination, he couldn’t help himself, but standing speechless in front of the shelves. The sheer amount of sweets around him overwhelmed Julian for a moment. From gummy bears, to cookies and back to the all-known chocolate - everything was available. However, since his 5 € would not be enough for everything, as he had also planned to buy a new fashion magazine, he caught himself again after what felt like an eternity and began to investigate each product closely.

He felt like one of those people on TV, looking for the finest goods in restaurants or stores to recommend to their viewers. His mother often watched these programs and every time she shook her head, cursing about who could even afford these products. Julian, however, did not have this problem - he had saved a lot of money and was able to buy everything he saw before him without an exception - it was only a matter of choice.

At the beginning, Julian had put chocolate at the top of his wishlist. It was long ago, since he last had some and the taste still haunted him in his dreams. However, he was unsure if he wanted to spend his money on something he already knew the taste of, rather than experiencing something new.

The gummy bears seemed very juicy in their colorful packs and were currently on discount, but they were also known to get empty rather quickly. The cookies, that he otherwise only got his hands on around Christmas, would be a tempting option, along with the “refreshment sticks”, which, according to the packaging, hid a fresh lemon flavor coated in delicious chocolate. Last but not least, there were also these Oreos, that his classmates had always brought to school during the last few months and had piqued Julian's interest.

Sighing, Julian stroked his hair and crossed his arms. He never thought that shopping could be so exhausting. Not that this is the first purchase he had ever made in his life. In fact, Julian was responsible for most of the household even at his young age. He regularly refilled the refrigerator or fetched a new six pack of beer at the kiosk next door, when his mother ordered him to. Normally though, he did not buy anything for himself. It was, therefore, new for him to be the one deciding, which products the cashier would pull over the scanner later on. Accordingly, he lost himself in front of the huge shelf and his eyes jumped from one sweet to another, while hoping for an enlightenment to fall into his lap at some point.

"Try this", said an unfamiliar voice after a while, to which Julian turned around. An old lady, who had watched him slowly fall into despair with an amused smile, held out a pack of Primavera to him. "The children in my neighborhood love these strawberries, so I keep buying them." Small wrinkles formed around the corners of her eyes as she stood up to her actual height, smiling: "and I'm sure you’d enjoy them too." Julian looked at the bag somewhat uncertain for a few seconds, before taking it into his own hands. "Thanks", he muttered barely audible, before the woman patted his hair and left the aisle. "It's difficult to make a choice, but luckily there’ll always be people around you to help", she said, looking over her shoulder to give him a last short smile, before turning towards the next aisle; disappearing out of his view. 

Julian was not sure if he had just met a fairy godmother or a witch, who wanted to lock him up in a cage to eat him later on. It did not happen every day that a stranger spoke to him, giving him candy, while stroking his hair. He felt as if someone had warned him about such situations before, but he could not remember exactly who it was or when that happened. Still a bit confused, he straightened his hair and looked at the white and red colored bag more closely. Through the little window, which were on all the bags of Haribo, he spotted red pyramids, that were supposed to resemble the shape of a strawberry. The sugar covered gummy bears glittered in the light, as Julian weighed it back and forth a little, to see how much was in the bag. After some deliberation, he decided to follow the old woman's advice and nodded determinedly.

However, when he wanted to make his way to the magazines, he stopped again and looked at the particularly sweet strawberries. An uneasy feeling struck him at the thought of taking exactly the pack that a stranger had given him. Even his father, who otherwise did not debate over anything for a long time, never took things from strangers - not even if it was a free beer. Julian stroked the back of his neck, then turned around and went back into the aisle, to replace the pack with another of the same kind.

A proud grin formed on Julian's lips over his mature decision. He felt, how his new life as a teenager was slowly approaching him, ever since he had turned ten last week. His birthday had not been celebrated greatly, as his parents once again forgot, but that had not bothered him, since he was used to it for quite some time by now. 

He had simply organized his own little party, attended only by one child from his neighborhood, whose parents were as forgetful as his own. They had both smuggled some food out to the playground, which always looked a bit lost in the midst of the Plattenbau, where they lived. Together they had built a table in the sandbox and equipped it with paper plates, cornflakes and lemonade. Granted, the bottle ripped off part of the table immediately, but apart from that, their work was more sturdy than they had expected. His younger neighbor had even thought of a candle, but none of them had a lighter. Thoughtfully, they studied the wick for a while, until a group of teenagers passed by, being so kind to help them light their candle. Smiling, they thanked the group, who also lived scattered within the dilapidated apartments.

Julian could still remember, how the tallest of them crouched next to him with a grin on his lips, patting him on the back, while he said: "We are all brothers here in the midst of this Plattenbau, we must stick together. Keep your chin up!” With these words he went and left them alone again.

Julian continued to beam with a certain pride for the rest of the day, which had settled deep in his heart ever since then. When one of the big boys patted him on the back, he felt like he had already become part of the youth with his 10 years. He could not wait for the time, he would be the one walking with his friends around the block until late at night; even waiting for his voice to break was a great patience test by now. His anticipation of getting older took complete control over him during the weeks before and after his birthday every single time, to a point he would lose sleep over it.

As expected, he struggled to fall asleep the following evening. As he counted the ceiling boards and thought about the great things he would do as a teenager, the door to his room opened to a little gap. His mother had wanted to look after him and looked at him with tired eyes. He still remembered the sad smile that crossed her lips. Softly, she whispered: "Do not dream so much and sleep, Julian", before she closed the door again. To this day, he did not quite understand what his mother meant by that, but the smile had caused him a bad tummy ache for the rest of the night.

He stared absently, blinking a few times before slowly catching himself again. Embarrassed that, once again, he had lost himself in his own thoughts, he sighed heavily. In fact, he could not say how long he had been standing in front of the magazines already. His finger had traveled several laps over the magazines' headlines by now, but nothing had reached his mind. Granted - he had to smile a little. His teachers had often criticized him for distracting himself from things, but he rarely understood what they had meant by that. This moment, however, seemed almost too familiar to Julian. "I can already hear Mr. Taylor complaining", he giggled softly, thinking about his pale substitute teacher, who had repeatedly fallen into despair at Julian's short attention span towards the end of his final year of elementary school.

With a slight smile, Julian pulled one of the magazines off the shelf and browsed through it. He was about eight years old, when he held one of these magazines in his hands for the first time. The fancy clothes these people wore had captivated him and gained his attention completely ever since then. He had entrenched himself in his room and studied every page, read every article, that described the presented outfit more accurately, and gradually memorized the names of all the models and designers. When his parents had not been paying attention, he sneaked into their bedroom, trying to put together stunning outfits with his mother's clothes and showing them off in front of the mirror like the professionals.

Once, however, his father had caught him experimenting with a dress in front of the mirror. The next thing he could remember was the force with which his father's hand had hit his cheek. "Are you a faggot or what?!", he shouted in rage as he loomed over the trembling body of his little son. The tears ran down over the burning imprint left by the blow. Julian had felt the blood throb on his face; he had not understood what his father meant by these words, nor what was wrong with trying on clothes, but he learned to never again enter his parents' bedroom without being asked.

Weeks after the incident, his father had kept a close eye on him, confiscated every fashion magazine, and told Julian several times a day, that he was never allowed to reach the level of a "faggot." He had not fully understood the word to this day, but at that time he nodded conscientiously to his father's exhortations and waited for his next nap to continue browsing through the magazines he had hidden under his bed.

Sometimes Julian felt guilty while buying a new magazine. It was the first time he had been so disobedient to his father's rules, and he often wondered if that made him a bad son. Surely, his parents wanted only the best for him and maybe all these pictures were really not for a boy of his age. However, as soon as he opened the first page and saw a new outfit from his favorite designer, his little heart jumped in the air and he forgot all the concerns he had a few seconds earlier.

So it did, yet again, when he flipped over the summary of the Glamor and the smile of Emma Watson jumped into his face. The burgundy designer suit, paired with a pair of black high heels, had put her beauty in the limelight of this month's edition. She had her slender hands buried in her pockets and laughed at the camera; Her make-up was kept discreet and if you looked closely, you could see slight lines of laughter at the corners of her eyes, which gave the picture a certain natural vibe. 

“So pretty ...!", Julian mumbled breathlessly. For a while he could not take his eyes off this page. He already knew Emma Watson from an article a few months ago, that had also been published in the Glamor. The subject had been hard to understand, and it took a long time for him to grasp the content, but the images of Emma, that had been distributed around the article, were still firmly anchored in Julian's mind. He had adored her naturalness in connection with her warm heart, which hid itself between the lines. The months after that, he had flipped through multiple magazines to find out more about her. As far as he understood, however, she was not a model, but an actress, who had gained popularity through a movie called Harry Potter - not that Julian had ever seen it. Only the reputation of the movies were responsible, that at least the title seemed familiar to him.

A few of his classmates had teased him for his obvious crush on Emma Watson. To be honest, he preferred to let them believe it was a crush. In fact, he saw in her kind of a heroine, to whom he looked up to with awe and whose statements and photographs touched him deeply. His father once told him that men should have manly role models and probably there was some truth to it, but Julian could not bring himself to look up at anyone else than her.

"What are you reading?", a curious voice asked right next to him, while bending his head over Julians shoulder. Frightened, Julian closed the magazine in a heartbeat and stammered, "U-uhm ... the Glamor ...", while his face slowly turned red. Confused, he took a little distance from the boy, who looked at him in surprise. He was getting ready to hear something similar to what he always did in class or at home, but his counterpart just said: "Ah, alright", and turned back to the comic section of the shelf. "I thought they released a new comic I do not have yet", he explained, grinning at Julian, "then I would have to steal that from you!"

Julian frowned in confusion and looked at the strange boy. He was about the same size as himself. His hair was dark brown, as were his eyes. He probably went to another school, which was why he had never seen him before. "Comics are boring, everybody reads them," Julian muttered, flipping through the magazine again.

A "What!?" rang beside him, and when he looked up, the enthusiastic comic fan was already standing in front of him, taking a deep breath for his next words: "How can you say that? All these fights for justice! All the courage the heroes have to save our world! They fight for us, so we can live peacefully! They are true role models! Eventually, I'll be a superhero too, like Superman or Hulk!" His eyes gleamed with pride as he striked on a similar pose as Superman did at the frontpage of the latest comic to emphasise his statement.

Julian shook his head and sighed. With the utmost difficulty, he put on a serious face, suppressing the laughter that was trying to escape from his mouth, and asked, "Since when would heroes rob others?", acting sad, he shook his head and continued, "The way you behave, you will not become a superhero anytime soon."

This time it was his counterpart who turned bright red. "I-I wasn’t being serious! I would never steal from someone! I am a honorable hero! A-and besides ... " he exclaimed indignantly, but stopped himself mid-sentence. His eyes told Julian that he was searching hastily for suitable examples in his head that would relieve him. As he remembered some, he triumphantly raised his finger and said: "Besides, there are heroes who are stealing! Deadpool or Robin Hood for example! I mean, maybe you're one of the bad guys? Who knows?"

"Heroes know", Julian replied gravely, but as he looked into the speechless face of his counterpart, he could not help but laugh. "You're stupid! Don't you want to become a hero too?", he grunted and crossed his arms. At that question, Julian's laugh faded and, with a faint smile on his lips, he looked at the ceiling. "Hm... I don’t know. Don’t think so", he replied, looking back at him. He enjoyed this playful conversation, but now he had come to his limits and ran out of answers. Thoughtfully, he looked at the magazine in his hand and flipped to the page, he had been looking at before.

The other boy, who followed his gaze into the magazine, grinned triumphantly, and proclaimed proudly: "I've got it! You want to become a model!" At these words, Julian froze a bit and looked at him in surprise, which only increased the confidence of his conversation partner "You're really easy to figure out”, he laughed and returned to selecting a comic. 

The conversation was over as abruptly as it had begun. He had never thought about what he wanted to be, but the idea of wearing these beautiful clothes and possibly sharing the spot with Emma Watson in the next Glamor, made his heart beat a little faster. His father's words, echoing steadily in his head, dampened his mood, as he did not want to disappoint his parents any more than he already did. In addition, the idea sounded very lovely at first, but he could not tell, if he really had, what it takes to become a model. Accordingly, he stood there and looked for a while at the smile of Emma, as he heard another voice, that belonged to an adult. 

"Did you find what you were looking for?", the young man stopped behind the boy Julian had been busy talking to before. Smiling, he stroked his hair and looked down at him. In appearance, they seemed related to each other. "Yes, I have!", he answered joyfully and took the man's hand, before they went together towards the cash register. The boy gave Julian one last smile and waved goodbye. He looked after them a little perplexed and waved back, as he picked up a few shreds of their conversation.

"Was that a friend of yours?", the older one asked. "No, a future top model", he replied simply, staring thoughtfully at the comic he had chosen earlier.

Yeah, maybe he would really be a top model someday, Julian thought, squeezing the Glamor on his way to the cash register.

When he left the store, the school bag, that he had admired while entering roughly an hour ago, was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't expect it to be so soon, but I finally did it - I translated a story of mine. The longest shortstory I have actually. Hopefully these view lines gave you a little insight on my OC Jules and especially the circumstances he had to endure during his childhood. Special thanks goes out to @ApeironStella for helping me with the translation!


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